eBook or Paperbook - How to Decide?

There's only one way to decide.

FIGHT!

PAPERBOOK:  None shall pass.
  eBOOK:  What?
  PAPERBOOK:  None shall pass.
  eBOOK:  I have no quarrel with you, good Paperbook, but I must
      reach my readers.
  PAPERBOOK:  Then you shall die.
  eBOOK:  I command you as King of the formats to stand aside!
  PAPERBOOK:  I move for no electronic book.
  eBOOK:  So be it!
      [hah]
      [parry thrust]
      [eBOOK rips out PAPERBOOK's first chapter]
  eBOOK:  Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
  PAPERBOOK:  'Tis but a paper cut.
  eBOOK:  A paper cut?  Your whole first chapter is missing!
  PAPERBOOK:  No, it isn't.
  eBOOK:  Well, what's that then?
  PAPERBOOK:  I've had worse.
  eBOOK:  You liar!
  PAPERBOOK:  Come on you pansy!
      [hah]
      [parry thrust]
      [eBOOK rips out PAPERBOOK's next 3 chapters]
  eBOOK:  Victory is mine!
      [kneeling]
      We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc-
      [hah]
  PAPERBOOK:  Come on then.
  eBOOK:  What?
  PAPERBOOK:  Have at you!
  eBOOK:  You are indeed brave, PAPERBOOK, but the fight is mine.
  PAPERBOOK:  Oh, had enough, eh?
  eBOOK:  Look, stupid , you've haven't got your first 4 chapters.
  PAPERBOOK:  Yes I have.
  eBOOK:  Look!
  PAPERBOOK:  Just slight soiling.
      [bang]
  eBOOK:  Look, stop that.
  PAPERBOOK:  Chicken!  Chicken!
  eBOOK:  Look, I'll have your cover.  Right!
      [whop]
  PAPERBOOK:  Right, I'll do you for that!
  eBOOK:  You'll what?
  PAPERBOOK:  Come 'ere!
  eBOOK:  You're a loony.
  PAPERBOOK:  The PAPERBOOK always triumphs!
      Have at you!  Come on then.
      [whop]
      [eBOOK pulls out all PAPERBACK'S pages leaving just a back cover in 
the dirt]
  PAPERBOOK:  All right; we'll call it a draw.
  eBOOK:  Come, KINDLE.
  PAPERBOOK:  Oh, oh, I see, running away with your chum then. Come 
back here and take what's coming to you, you electronic bit of shit.
      
 
 

3 comments:

Arkadiusz Kwapiszewski said...

I have an inkling that this is a very imbalanced text. But as a person whose objections to eReading melted away in ten seconds, when I embraced my kindle for the first time, I kind of understand the bias ;)

Marcus Speh said...

Interesting way to settle that question...I've since written a blog post on this issue, too: "books that burn turn into torches" in response to an article on e-books vs paper books in the NYT blog. Enjoyed!

Mike French said...

Thanks Marcus - interesting article