There's only one way to decide.
PAPERBOOK: None shall pass. eBOOK: What? PAPERBOOK: None shall pass. eBOOK: I have no quarrel with you, good Paperbook, but I must reach my readers. PAPERBOOK: Then you shall die. eBOOK: I command you as King of the formats to stand aside! PAPERBOOK: I move for no electronic book. eBOOK: So be it! [hah] [parry thrust] [eBOOK rips out PAPERBOOK's first chapter] eBOOK: Now stand aside, worthy adversary. PAPERBOOK: 'Tis but a paper cut. eBOOK: A paper cut? Your whole first chapter is missing! PAPERBOOK: No, it isn't. eBOOK: Well, what's that then? PAPERBOOK: I've had worse. eBOOK: You liar! PAPERBOOK: Come on you pansy! [hah] [parry thrust] [eBOOK rips out PAPERBOOK's next 3 chapters] eBOOK: Victory is mine! [kneeling] We thank thee Lord, that in thy merc- [hah] PAPERBOOK: Come on then. eBOOK: What? PAPERBOOK: Have at you! eBOOK: You are indeed brave, PAPERBOOK, but the fight is mine. PAPERBOOK: Oh, had enough, eh? eBOOK: Look, stupid , you've haven't got your first 4 chapters. PAPERBOOK: Yes I have. eBOOK: Look! PAPERBOOK: Just slight soiling. [bang] eBOOK: Look, stop that. PAPERBOOK: Chicken! Chicken! eBOOK: Look, I'll have your cover. Right! [whop] PAPERBOOK: Right, I'll do you for that! eBOOK: You'll what? PAPERBOOK: Come 'ere! eBOOK: You're a loony. PAPERBOOK: The PAPERBOOK always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then. [whop] [eBOOK pulls out all PAPERBACK'S pages leaving just a back cover in the dirt] PAPERBOOK: All right; we'll call it a draw. eBOOK: Come, KINDLE. PAPERBOOK: Oh, oh, I see, running away with your chum then. Come back here and take what's coming to you, you electronic bit of shit.