How to get a Publishing Deal #7

Reader Logoby The Lone Ranger

This week I've got a tip that will get you to stand out from the slush pile and get that six-figure deal! It only works in the winter months - so let's get cracking!

You will need:

  • A Portable Fan with infra red control (you may need a Physics degree to build this.)
  • Glow in the Dark pens
  • Wire Cutters
  • A mask

Ready? Okay this is what you do:

  1. Write your submission using Glow in the Dark pens.
  2. Post it off, with SAE etc
  3. Break into the Publishers office a few days later and wait until it becomes dark. (about 4.16)
  4. Put on your mask.
  5. When you have a chance quickly place the portable fan on the publisher's desk.
  6. Then when he/she returns to his desk use the wire cutters to cut the lights to the building. ( Not the power or the fan won't work.)
  7. At the same time remotely start the desk fan.

That's it. Simple you stand out from the slush pile.

Here, in case you haven't worked it out, is how:

The fan blows all the submissions in the air.
Your submission being written with glow in the dark pens lights up magically as it floats down in the darkness. The publisher watches the glowing manuscript descend and takes it as a sign from the Gods that this is the one to pick.

It's foolproof I'm telling you.

Photo credit: ax2groin


the Amateur Book Blogger said...

I love it. Sounds like I might need MacGyver's help on this one.

Unknown said...

Not only should this help you pop out of the slush, I'd think you'd get big points for creativity, too.

Still, for some of us, Lone Ranger, wire cutters and electricity, to say nothing of breaking into a publisher's office, seem dangerous.

The Lone Ranger said...

Kathleen my good woman, no-one said this was going to be easy.

Take courage and give it I try.

TABB: Who is this MacGyver that you would not want the assistance of my good self? I am available Mondays and Tuesdays to assist in any way.

Stella said...

I don't have a degree in physics, damnit. Will my BA in English NEVER count for anything...?