by The Lone Ranger
Okay here we go with number 5:
Commission the Air Force to Airdrop your manuscript over a large city
To do this you will need to box up your script, making sure the pages are numbered, and deliver them to your nearest Air Force Base. You will require national clearance so if you have a patchy past then skip to next week's tip.
Choose a nice sunny day and get them to fly over the city of your choice. The massive publicity that this will cause will have the publishers knocking at your door.
O and get them to shout Hi Ho Away as they drop them - just for fun.
Next week I'll show you the perfect introductory letter to send off with your submissions.